01
Origin
I enjoyed listening to the people; my two brothers, two parents, and lots of animals, coming and going up and down the staircase. Being near yet not engaged with my family felt safe and connected. I occasionally eavesdropped on their comings and goings, but mostly enjoyed the twists and turns of my imagination. Memories surfaced, aspirations formed, and subconscious anxieties were contended with.
I grew up and forgot about the closet as more basic, puberty-fueled interests drew my attention: beer, girls, video games, and crass jokes. In adulthood I discovered the ultimate anaesthetics: shopping, social media, online dating, and workaholism, to name a few.
I found yoga, movement, psychedelics, and the New York bdsm scene in my early twenties. In these communities I learned how to be with my breath and be curious about the sensations in my body. I learned how to ask for and give consent. I learned the value of emptiness. I felt more free, alive, and loving.
Massage was my main source of income at this point. Some of my regulars learned about my interest in rope bondage and asked me to tie them. This worked for many of them, but the time it took to have a consent/safety chat, tie them up, and untie them, got in the way. I learned that by using yoga straps I could apply the pressure quickly and evenly. Moreover, I found that my clients preferred to relax in a “mummy” position rather than being bent and suspended in the ways I was used to tying models with rope. Best of all, I could combine the bondage experience with massage and Thai stretching techniques.
Instill was born. While the practice started out as an accompaniment to massage, then a way for lovers to “spice things up”, we have found that a slow, safe, clothed, and energetically platonic format is most accessible. The invitation:
Be with what is
Be witnessed in being
Know thy self
Massage was my main source of income at this point. Some of my regulars learned about my interest in rope bondage and asked me to tie them. This worked for many of them, but the time it took to have a consent/safety chat, tie them up, and untie them, got in the way. I learned that by using yoga straps I could apply the pressure quickly and evenly. Moreover, I found that my clients preferred to relax in a “mummy” position rather than being bent and suspended in the ways I was used to tying models with rope. Best of all, I could combine the bondage experience with massage and Thai stretching techniques.
Instill was born. While the practice started out as an accompaniment to massage, then a way for lovers to “spice things up”, we have found that a slow, safe, clothed, and energetically platonic format is most accessible. The invitation:
Be with what is
Be witnessed in being
Know thy self